On the subway this morning - it was hard to find a seat - not because seats weren't available - but that they were occupied by the homeless, who are mentally unstable and can be violent. They also smell. And may carry illness. So everyone attempts to give them a wide berth.

I did sit near one man, who was putting on a ratty old pair of old boots. ( Read more... )

On the way home, after disembarking from the subway at Church Avenue, and climbing the steps to exit near Denny's Pub, I stumbled upon a street filled with pigeons. Their heads tucked under their wings, all sleeping on the sidewalk beneath the overhang. There must have been at least thirty or forty of them sitting there.

**
Whoa. A lot of folks died this weekend, and rather tragically. The news was...depressing this morning, more so than usual? On social media and on ABC.

( What the actor who played Luke Spencer, Rob Reiner and his wife, Brown University students, and Bondi Beach celebrants...all have in common..they died this weekend. )
Damn. No wonder I'm depressed.

***

I don't know if anyone else feels this way? But sometimes, I feel as if I have no control over anything? My art, my writing, my life.

I bought two gifts for my mother, slippers and the Paul Newman memoir - neither have been delivered and both are stuck in transit. I looked up the Paul Newman gift - it tells me that weather delays are responsible. I looked up the slippers - it's stuck with FedEX in Georgia. So frustrated, and worried that Momma wouldn't have anything under her tree - I bought her a Suduko Calendar and a 2026 book of Sudoku puzzles.

I also spent a portion of the day - fighting to get Crazy Org to provide payment for two Union perks owed to me. I succeeded with one (which was admittedly the more important and greater of the two), and am making some headway on the other (which granted is just $100 (post taxes - $50), but that $100 could pay for this month's PT).

Iced my knee. Did exercises. Tried not to overdo.

And at home, worked on a drawing of a homeless man that I saw on the subway, and surrounded him with pigeons.

Me: I feel I've accomplished little in my life. I'm second guessing all of it.
Mother: You've survived

And I suppose that's something? There but for the grace of God go I?

I'm grateful for what I have, every single day, my City reminds me of that. It thrusts those who have far less under my nostrils.

Charisma Carpenter (played Cordy on Buffy and Angel) stated recently on a podcast that she loved New York City, because no matter how down or depressed you felt, you could always see somebody who was worse off - not only that but you could watch them find a way to keep on trucking. Thinking to yourself, if they can do that...then well, so can I.

It's cold, and gray, and gloomy outside. The Oak Tree outside my window is finally shrugging off it's leaves.

Me: the tree outside my window is holding onto its leaves and stubbornly not letting go of them.
Mother: Is it an oak?
Me: An oak?
Mother: Oaks tend to hold onto their leaves for a long time.

Re-watched Buffy S5, Episode 6 "Family" written and directed by Whedon, and Angel S2, "Untouched", written by Mere Smith and directed by Whedon - and I thought whoa, both these episodes feature characters who have abusive and controlling fathers. And some of the same dialogue? Whedon literally took dialogue from Smith and inserted it in Family. The dialogue exchange between Bethany (the victim of the week in Angel) is the same as the exchange between Tara and her father in Family.

Whedon definitely has a thing for "abusive fathers" in his stories.

Family is a better episode than I remembered - if you ignore Tara and her abusive family. ( Read more... )

I'd forgotten Untouched completely, and hadn't realized Whedon directed it, while Mere Smith wrote it. Or how various themes in it were similar to Family. Of course I hadn't watched them closely together either.
( Read more... )

I don't know what it is like elsewhere? But this is turning out to be a bitterly cold December in the Northeastern US, specifically New York. It felt like 18 degrees F or -7 C with windchill today, in actuality 34 degrees F or 1 degrees C. Bitter, bitter wind. But sunny and pretty outside with a blue sky and scattered white puffy clouds.

Mememage - Question a Day (because I'm slightly behind, too busy writing about Buffy for the upteenth time. You'd think I'd get bored of it eventually, but apparently not? I can't remember where I left off? I had to go back and check - can't have any repetition, can we? I might contradict myself.)

8. Today is Green Monday: the most lucrative shopping day of the year. This is usually the last day that people can shop online so that the purchases can still arrive in time for the holidays. What’s the last thing you bought from an online retailer?

Sudoko Book and Calendar for my mother, and I did on Thursday (as in today), but it can still arrive in time for the holidays.

9. If you have a battery smoke alarm in your home, do you check the batteries regularly?

No, it's one of those newfangled ones that has batteries which last ten years. Combo smoke/carbon dioxide detector. Although, now that I no longer have a gas stove/oven, less chance of carbon dioxide poisoning.

10. Do you have a blanket you can snuggle under on your couch/sofa?

Yes, but I don't own a couch or sofa. I own armchairs. And an ottoman/coffee table.
( Read more... )

11. How often do you chew gum (or bubble gum)?

I no longer do. I can't - high in sugar. Also it sticks to my teeth, and loses it's taste too quickly.

***

Knee was hurting last night, but it's better today. I've also been off of it more, giving it a rest. Did some exercises, but once it began to ache, pulled back a bit. Iced it as well.

***

Making headway through the Paul Newman Memoir - which is a lot better than the Ethan Hawk documentary, also a lot kinder to Newman. Making me think Hawk is a bit of a judgemental prick? ( Read more... )

Also making headway through "Lady's Guide to Mischief and Mayhem" which is more romance than mystery, and there's no mischief or mayhem. It's okay. I'll most likely finish it? But I wouldn't rec it to anyone?

***

Me: So where did you get that strap that we're using for the exercises?
PT: Amazon.
Me: What do you call it?
PT: Stretch Strap for exercises or stretching strap.

Sure enough that's what it is. Stretching Yoga Straps for Physical Therapy

I've noticed a pattern of late? I see something I want, I ask people where they got it, and they state: From Amazon.

Damn. Amazon is doing well.

I also bought humidifiers. My skin is drying out, I have a dry cough, and my lips are chapped. Time for humidifiers.

***

Saw a stray cat (at least I think it is - might not be) on the way home. It's fairly healthy for a stray, so may be just out and about. But thought, it's awfully cold for a cat. Granted they have fur but still.

Had another PT appointment on Monday, which...went okay, I guess? ( Read more... )

Work party and work in general made me want to walk out the door and retire today. But alas, I can't. I'm not positive, but I have a feeling Breaking Bad felt much the same way.
( Read more... )
Today was my father's birthday - which FB decided to alert me to. Annoying considering my father was never on FB and disliked it. My father, had he lived, would have turned 90. He died in 2022 at the age of 86 just short of his 87th birthday.

So feeling a bit down and out today. Not helped by the bitter cold snap plaguing New York and the East Coast at the moment. It was 18 F degrees this morning, I think that is -6 C. Tomorrow it is supposed to get up to 45 and possibly rain, practically balmy.
****

Buffy S5 Rewatch

Episode S5.4 Out of My Mind

Definitely enjoying Angel more this go-around, probably because I've watched this season one too many times? That said, the dialogue in this episode for the most part is rather good. And there are some good bits here and there.

The episode is mainly about Riley and Spike.
( Read more... )

Off to bed and other things.

The folks singing in the lobby - aka the apartment Christmas Party, can't sing. So, I put on my headphones and decided to listen to EMDR Bilateral Simulation to block it out, and to calm my nervous system, which is kind of keyed up.

The apartment building Christmas Party - was not what I'd expected? Instead of a party for the complex celebrating the building's 100th birthday, it was more a gathering of a select group of people and their kids to visit with Santa, get gifts, sing songs with audio equipment, and have a pizza party with cupcakes, brownies, cookies and snacks.
( Read more... )

So, having been weirdly triggered food wise, I came back up and had left-over chili (I make a mean vegetarian gluten-free chili, if I say so myself), gluten free NY Cheesecake (small) with berries, and some pumpkin latte ice cream with nuts. Oatmilk eggnog with a touch of brandy to drink.

Then watched the rest of Otto Preminger's classic adaptation of Leon Uris' epic "Exodus" on Amazon Prime, starring Paul Newman, Eva Marie Saint, Sal Mineo, John Derek, Sir Ralph Richardson, and Lee J. Cob. I'd been watching it off and on most of the day.

(The book was actually better - I read it in high school, but the film has some excellent and understated performances in it, even if it shows it's age - it was done in 1960.) Not to be confused with the Moses Story, this is the story of the battle to create Israel in 1948, after WWII during the British occupation. ( Read more... )

I watched it - because I remembered it being one my favorite Paul Newman films. Also I've been listening to the Newman memoir on audible. Newman keeps stating in his book that he wasn't a great actor, he was just good enough, and it didn't set his world on fire or anything. He hadn't found his calling. And he is convinced he probably had a learning disability - because he struggled with reading his entire life, and struggled to memorize lines - as if he didn't quite do it properly or something, but he didn't quite know why or how. (Sounds like dyslexia to me? I struggled with memorizing lines too for similar reasons.) I read well now - but I had to work at it, and still do, I have all sorts of tricks that I apply, most of which I'm no longer aware of doing, and couldn't explain to anyone.

It's astonishing that he actually thinks this - because his acting seems effortless. He's effortlessly charming, charismatic, and pulls in the audience - even in a film like Exodus. He also didn't think of himself as attractive to women or anyone. He reminds me of my brother - who didn't see it either. Often the most attractive people are the ones who are the most oblivious to it.

***

I'm enjoying S2 Angel much more than expected. [Even though, David Boreanze is not as thin and hot as he was in Buffy S1-3.] Most likely assisted by the fact that I couldn't remember most of it - having not watched it since it aired or shortly thereafter? I thought I remembered it better than I had? But I totally forgot about Angel's Darla dreams, or how Darla was seducing Angel in his sleep. I also forgot about the scenes with Cordelia and Gunn bonding. They have some nifty platonic scenes between Cordelia/Gunn, and Cordelia/Wes - indicating that Cordelia most likely gets along better with men than women? Cordelia is growing on me, and I don't remember liking Cordy this much when I watched the series back in the day? (I think the difficulty was I came in and out of it, and like all the characters, she has her ups and downs.)

Finished watching First Impressions - which is the third episode of Angel S2. It establishes Lorne's club as another new set. We've moved from the Bar that Angel met Kate at in S1, to Lorne's Demon Bar. In this episode, Angel dreams of singing Send in the Clowns and Tears of the Clown, at Lorne's club - apparently he was going for a medley (which was thankfully off screen - since David Boreanze can't sing to save his life. And I'd rather he didn't butcher one of my favorite Sondheim songs.) Believe it or not, Tears of the Clown is actually a song by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles with a lyric like "there's sad things around but nothing sadder than the tears of a clown when there's no one around".

I'm thinking okay, where are we going with this? Is this a dream? It is - he's meeting Darla at Lorne's bar, and starts dating her, and having a relationship with her in his dreams.
( Read more... )

Interesting episode, all things considered. Only quibble is sigh, Gunn.
He's annoyingly stereotypical, and kind of cringe. I've seen it done better elsewhere. I honestly don't think the writers knew what to do with the character?

**

On a final note?

My contacts came today. I was told they'd shipped on Friday. And they arrived today. That was fast. Considering they were ordered November 8.
How much you want to bet that they forgot to order them, and didn't do it until I reminded them to, this week?


Ah. As predicted the party in the lobby finally ended - and prior to 10 pm. The plus side of families with small children throwing a party - is it is never a late one.

Off to bed.